It’s an endless loop designed to slowly grind away at your sanity until you break and pay up. And now it’s in our Crash game. | Source: Activision via Steam
- King released the Crash Bandicoot-branded endless runner we’ve all been dreading.
- The genre has tarnished yet another beloved franchise.
- Here’s hoping this won’t represent the future of Crash.
Crash Bandicoot Mobile is live on Android, marking yet another franchise tarnished by the “endless runner” genre.
What happened to Sonic and Rayman is rapidly happening with Crash. One of our favorite franchises is being squeezed for cash in a lazy Temple Run clone.
‘Crash Mobile’ Ruins our Favorite Bandicoot
This game accomplishes an ambitious feat. It takes the aesthetic of Crash and ruins everything you love about it.
Players have the genre’s typical three lanes to switch between, obstacles to avoid, and collectibles to find. There’s only one thing that makes it different from every other endless runner in the Google Play Store: There’s a bandicoot skin over everything.
That makes it okay in the eyes of Activision, I guess.
Crash Bandicoot Mobile is only on Android for the moment, and the Google Play page details exactly how it’s ruining the nostalgia held towards your once-favorite marsupial.
A new kind of Crash adventure featuring your favorite characters! Crash & Coco team up to put a stop to Dr Neo Cortex’s evil plan to destroy the multiverse!
In this new mobile episode, Dr Neo Cortex has dispatched mutagen henchmen across the multiverse to enslave all dimensions. With the help of his sister Coco, Crash must bash Cortex’s minions back to their own dimensions!
Run, spin and slide your way into madness with this new Crash Bandicoot game!
Yet again, Crash is tasked with taking down Dr. Neo Cortex. Tracks are based on previous levels within the franchise, and enemies like Dingodile are back as well.
Enjoy levels that look like this, only stripped down of all enjoyment. | Source: Crash Bandicoot
Oh, and it’s all being developed by King, the makers of Candy Crush. I wouldn’t be surprised if they limit gameplay behind microtransactions here.
The Laziest Possible Approach
It’s like Activision thought, “We’re still a ways out from our next Crash title. What’s the laziest way we can wring some cash out of this IP otherwise?”
Sure, Crash “runs” in the games of his namesake. But those levels require precise platforming and allow for breaks to plan out one’s next move. A runner simplifies all of that, requiring only the slightest effort from the player.
Crash runs, jumps, and – wait for it – he even spins, too! | Source: Google Play
Coco returns as well. He acts as Crash’s guide to the world, alongside hosting a base-building mini-game. My colleague William Worrall describes this perfectly.
We actually get two shoddy, hackneyed, mobile game genres for the price of one. Amazing!
The mini-game plays just like Farmville and every other soulless online title. It requires resources that take real-world hours to gather unless you want to spend real-world money to get them faster.
The face Activision makes when they release yet another cash-grab title. | Source: Activision via Steam
It’s an endless loop designed to slowly grind away at your sanity until you break and pay up. And now it’s in our Crash game.
Here’s hoping this doesn’t represent the future of Crash. There are rumors of a new, full-fledged release coming, but I won’t believe them until I see it.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of CCN.com.
This article was edited by Josiah Wilmoth.